Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Christmas Lesson

From Neal Boortz:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.  Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN:  'Hello'?

WOMAN:  'Honey, it's me...are you at the club?'

MAN:  'Yes'

WOMAN:  'I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.  It's only $1,000.  Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN:  'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN:  'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2011 models.  I saw one I really liked.'

MAN:  'How much?'

WOMAN:  '$98,000'.

MAN:  'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN:  'Great!  Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market.  They're asking $950,000'.

MAN:  'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000.  They'll probably take it.  If not, we can go the extra fifty thousand if it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN:  'OK. I'll see you later!  I love you so much!'

MAN:  'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up.  The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..

The wonderful husband turns and asks:

"Anybody know whose phone this is?"

I Am A Rambling Man

Just some random musings on a cold, rainy Saturday:

In Henry County, Georgia, this week, the home of local rappah Waka Flocka Flame was raided by authorities.  Flame was not home at the time, but anothah brothah rappah, Gucci Mane (pronounced Goochie Main) was home.  Flame tweeted "the folks just kick my door in good thing I left for court LOL".  No word on the eventual outcome of eithah rappah.  Or whether Daffy Duck will be suing for sound effects infringement.

WXIA, Channel 11 in Atlanta, has successfully launched the latest in weather forecasting, calling it the Wizometer (pronounced wiz-om-e-ter).  I choose to pronounce it WIZ-O-ME-TER.  So much more entertaining, and raises many more questions.  How much did "11 Alive" pay for the WIZ-O-ME-TER?  I'da come up with something just as entertaining for a lot less, I'm sure.  Come to think of it, I really do miss Guy Sharpe.

John Pruitt, over at WSB-TV, did his last newscast last night during the six o'clock hour.  The station had a tribute video for him which began at 6:48pm.  It was cut short at 6:55pm so the station could have five minutes of advertising.  Forty-six years in the business and shut out by a Viagra commercial.  That must have been hard to take. 

Just so you don't think I'm now the local arbiter of television taste, let's talk about Christmas.  The perfect storm occurred this week in North Georgia--rain/sleet/snow + idiot drivers + a full moon.  All that adds up to around 1,000 automobile accidents north of Atlanta in a matter of a few hours.  No word on whether Waka Locka Flame or Goochie Main were involved in any of these wrecks.  I just had to find a way to mention their names again.

What do car wrecks have to do with Christmas?

--A lot of those drivers totaled their vehicles. 

--They now need another car or truck. 

--I sell cars and trucks. 

--They need to buy from me. 

If they do, I'll have a Merry Christmas.