Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Debt Crisis.

The current debt crisis in Washington isn't new to most of us.

I have a "debt crisis" almost every month, when I end up with more month than money.

Someone once said credit works like this:  You buy things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people you don't like.  Sounds like Congress to me.

Here's how my job works:  Sell a car, get a check.  Don't sell a car, get nothing.

Pretty simple.  Just like the situation in Washington (that's simple, I said, not necessarily easy).

If I don't have enough money to pay my bills, I make the difficult decision to feed my family (including myself), pay the power bill and the rent rather than pay somebody I owe for something expendable.  These other folks will get paid.  I just may not know when. 

You may think ill of me for doing this, and that's okay.  Most self-righteous people do.

Let's just say I have an OUTSTANDING year selling cars.  And I make exactly $174,400.  I will be in the 28% tax bracket.  If I make $174,401 I will be in the 33% tax bracket.

Now, I may be from the hills, but I think at any point in the above scenario I would have paid MY FAIR SHARE of taxes (which, by the way, I'm tired of hearing about, right along with words like BALANCED APPROACH and COMPROMISE).  And paid for my own health insurance (unlike Congress). 

Know how much your Congressman makes a year?  $174,000.  That's right, $401 shy of the 33% tax bracket.  Wonder who decided what their salaries would be...oh, yeah...THEY DID.

The President said recently that folks who had $100,000 laying around that they didn't need (I'm paraphrasing here) should contribute their "fair share" in taxes so we can pay for necessary items like the Bridge to Nowhere, how to purchase Worcestershire sauce, the National Brewery Museum, and sech.

First of all, how would I know if I didn't "need" that extra $100k?  Never know when a yachting emergency may arise.

And, B, if I made $174,401 (or more), I feel like I'd been punished for doing well.  Like the line in that Travis Tritt song, "They're billing me for killing me".

Daddy used to say "If they were going to screw me I wished they'da kissed me first."

I have to live within my means, whatever they may be at the time.  I don't have the option of a bailout, raising my debt ceiling, or borrowing from my master China.  I just have to make do.

Now, I'm not complaining about my station in life.  I just don't understand why the folks we elected to do their job won't...do their job.

Seems like they're all constantly running for re-election.  Because they are.

We need some people with backbone in Washington who are willing to make some hard decisions and live with the fallout.  Not a bunch of wimpy back-slapping politicians who are scared to death of giving a direct answer.

November 2012 isn't far away.  I hope we make it that long.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Definitions Are Good For You.

Cashtration (n.):  The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus:  A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxicaton:  Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.):  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.  The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.  Originated and is currently alive and flourishing in Congress in Washington D.C.

Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm:  The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte:  To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Karmageddon:  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n):  The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopeler Effect:  The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.):  The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.):  Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.):  The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

But wait...there's more. 

Coffee, n.  The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted, adj.  Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 

Abdicate, v.  To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 

Esplanade, v.  To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Lymph, v.  To walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash, n.  A rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle, n.  A humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude, n.  The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon, n.  A Rastafarian proctologist.

Frisbeetarianism, n.  The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
So there.  Your free, worthless information for today.           

Monday, July 25, 2011

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Justice Served.

Some say the justice system failed in the Casey Anthony saga. 

Those "believers" who say she was guilty as sin (and I think she was) say the ultimate justice will be carried out by God and not the Orange County, Florida, judicial system.

They're right about that.  But in the words of that great theologian Billy Mays, "Wait...there's more!"

The same God who will judge Casey Anthony will judge the rest of us as well.

Now that should bring comfort to those who are quick to judge and slow to think.  It may not seem fair now that someone apparently "got away with it", but isn't that what we do every day?

I may not be a murderer, etc.  But I promise you I'm guilty enough on my own without any help from anybody else.

And so are you.

So...lest we become overly self-righteous (too late) let's keep some perspective here.

You may not agree with me on any of this, and that's okay.  As I've said numerous times before, you're entitled to be as wrong as you choose to be.