Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Cereal, Milk, and Life.

It's pretty sad when you think a good day is qualified by finding Milk on sale for "Buy One, Get One Free" in a grocery store.  Which I did recently.  And which caused me to start thinking about cereal.  And milk.  And life.

The earliest cereal I can remember is/are Sugar Frosted Flakes.  Look it up, that's what they were called then, before we as a people realized that sugar is BAAADDDD for us, and the Cereal Police changed my Sugar Frosted Flakes to Frosted Flakes of Corn.  Just doesn't sound the same.

Milk used to be delivered to our door by Cecil Blackmon, Steve's daddy.  Before you go to bed at night, you set any number of empty glass milk bottles out by your back door, and the next morning when you get up, Viola!  There's the exact same number of glass milk bottles, magically full of fresh milk.  That was before the Milk Police decided that A)  Glass bottles are bad for you, 2)  Plastic is preferred, and D)  It's easier for the Milk Man to deliver the milk that used to show up on your back porch to some grocery store instead, therefore necessitating a drive that you wouldn't have to make otherwise.  Because, seriously, you can "run out" of anything else and put off the trip until at least tomorrow.  But, brother, run out of milk and the World As We Know It will--WILL--end unless you get to the store and get a gallon.

I navigated the Cereal Oceans and am still at sea.  I sailed through Cap'n Crunch (found out that grains and marshmallows don't mix well), Cocoa Crispies (if I'da wanted chocolate milk I'da bought some on that urgent grocery store run), the old standby Corn Flakes (who knew that you could do that with corn?), Fruit Loops (eat 'em dry--they make the milk in the bowl a really funny color), etc. 

At this stage of my life I kinda like Raisin Bran (obviously) and the occasional Rice Krispies.  The Queen and Princess eat Kashi Kardboard Krunchies or something like that (their motto is "Trees Never Tasted This Good Before").  I'll take my chances with Mr. Kellogg.

There used to be one kind of milk--milk.  Pints, quarts, gallons, it was all just milk.  Now there's Whole Milk, 1%, 2%, Skim, Organic, Soy...just a plethora of milk options.

By the way, Organic Milk apparently comes from "free-range" bovines.  Think about it--would you rather have milk from cows living in an organized, well-fed environment or from cows who are allowed to roam in gangs, eating whatever they want (think goats here--and believe it or not, they also provide milk AND cheese) and giving you the residue?

I like--really like--Publix Milk.  It comes from moovement-restricted cows who live on fenced-in farms.  The closest Publix to the Queen of the Mountains is eleven miles away.  Publix Milk is worth the drive.  These same cows provide delicious Ice Cream and when their milking days are through become tender, moist Publix ribeyes.  Yes, I am a Cow Man.

I'm convinced that if we still had milk delivered to our doorstep and sugar on our cereal our country wouldn't be in the mess it's in now.

Who can fight when you're eating a bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes with some cold milk?  No one I know.

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