My Smart Phone Ain't.

The Queen and Princess both got iPhones over a year ago.  I retained my Crackberry until I had a "discounted" upgrade.

Late in January I got the iPhone 4S, "the most amazing iPhone yet", according to Apple.

I can make calls, surf the InterWeb, and tell Siri what I want her to do.

And, just like any other woman, she does what she wants to.

For example, I asked Siri if I was good-looking.  She replied, "I don't understand 'good-looking'".

Okay.

I downloaded some music to ITunes on my desktop.  A Smart Phone, once connected, should be able to find said music, transfer it to itself, and allow me to listen to it without a problem.

But NOOOOoooooo.  I had to tell it where it was, point, click, cuss, and finally get help to jump through the seven hoops to make that happen.  Then, instead of being in ITunes, where logic says it should be, it's somewhere else.  Did I mention that Siri is female?

When I asked the Princess why I couldn't find my Beach Boys on ITunes she looked at me like I had a third eye and said, "It won't be there."  Really, Captain Obvious?

Instead, it's under the "Music" icon.  Of course...why didn't I think of that?  BECAUSE I HAVE A SMART PHONE AND IT SHOULD KNOW WHERE TO PUT STUFF.

Now, if I ask Siri where I am she can tell me.  By providing latitude and longitude.

I am not a map.  I know streets and towns.

The phone has a "Maps" feature.  If I want to go from Point A to Point B it will tell me how to get there.  By taking me through Points C, D, R, and V.

I asked her for a good place to eat.  She didn't understand.

I asked her how to get home.  She didn't know.

Of course, when Siri does address me she calls me "Elvis".  But I had to set that one up myself.

Huh.  My smart phone ain't so smart after all.