Thursday, August 14, 2008

She's Gone

Today is my first effort at "blogging" (which wasn't even a word when I was young...when I was young...that'll make a good post another day).

Today is significant for a couple of reasons. My daughter and my sweetheart (who is also my wife) are traveling to Florida for Emily to return to school for her senior year. Emily (my daughter) is the one who set this blog up because she thought I could write, and Jennie (sweetheart/wife) has thought for a while that I/we should write because we have such a story to tell.

That's reason number one.

Reason number two is a little more bittersweet.

Em is returning for her senior year. As we finished praying and they prepared to leave around 6am MHT (Mountain Heaven Time) tears welled up in Emily's eyes. I knew they were there before this morning but I, the strong one, wouldn't allow myself the luxury of crying or we'd all still be there standing and snotting.

What I felt this morning was a continuation of the past several days, as I thought about her senior year, the classes, her at the beach with her friends, her on-campus job which she loves, and all the things that mean so much when you are so young.

But mostly I just thought about her leaving me.

For what in the scheme of things will probably be the last time.

Oh, I know she'll come back "home" periodically, but I don't think she'll ever be back to stay again. Not because she wouldn't want to...but because I think--I know--I hear her future calling.

I'm sure it involves a destiny that was decided for her long before I first laid eyes on her.

I'm certain it includes friends and a career that she'll really enjoy.

And I'm afraid that there's some sweet-talking, good-looking undeserving boy that I already can't tolerate because she's way too good for him.

All those things are waiting to take her away from me.

But for right now, all I can think is...

She's gone.


bella said...

That has to be one of the sweetest things I have ever read. I miss you more than you will ever know, papi.

I love you,
I love you,
I love you.

Jenbug said...

You are truly a wonderful daddy! The truth is... you will always be her first love. And that will be a difficult one to live up to. I love that about you.