There's a woman from up North making some noise about being related to Elvis Presley.
First she said she was Elvis' child, then changed her story to say she was Vernon's (Elvis' dad).
How can she prove this? It's been verified that her mother hung around Elvis and his gang back in the late 60's and early 70's. Somewhere in the vicinity of the King.
Using this logic, since my Mama went to more than one Elvis concert during that same time, where he waved to her AND blew her a kiss, it stands to reason that I--wait for it--am the King's love child.
This would explain a lot. Like why I love his music, can talk, sing, and shake like him, and have a propensity toward fried foods and shiny cars. Not to mention my strong physical resemblance to Elvis, commented on by more than one person. Of course they always say I look like 70's Elvis, but who's listening? The facts speak for themselves.
Graceland, here I come.