Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Intraweb 8-Ball

Remember the "Magic 8-Ball" when you were growing up?  You put your chin on the top, ask it a question, flip it over and get a liquid-filled answer displayed at the bottom.  Like "Not Today" or "Maybe" or "Absolutely".  Well, the next best thing is on the Intraweb.

This site will tell you what the Web thinks about anyone or anything, based upon available search engine results.  Just put in the term and turn it loose.  The results are divided into three categories:  Positive, Negative, and Don't Care.  Since we live in perilous times I didn't want to waste effort on trivial subjects, so I put in items of concern to everyone.

Let's go.

Republicans--70.9% Negative.

Conservatives--58.8% Negative.

Democrats--98.7% Don't Care.

Liberals--86.8% Negative.

Between Republicans and Democrats, Conservatives and Liberals, 315.2% either hate 'em or could care less.  Kick 'em all out. 

Barack Obama--94.7% Don't Care.  I see a trend here.

United States--86.5% Positive.

Elvis Presley--99.7% Positive.

Michael Jackson--60.9% Negative.  (Just kidding;  that was actually Richard Nixon's rating.  The Gloved One's was 54.4% Positive.  But the King is, by a wide margin, still the King.)

Jesus Christ--93.1% Positive.

Christianity--63.9% Negative.  Positive about Christ, Negative about Christians.  It's like the bumper sticker that says "I Love Jesus--It's His Followers I Can't Stand".

Mohammed--86.5% Positive.

Muslims--72.5% Negative.  Must be a religious epidemic.

Now on to the really important stuff.  I put in the names of my friends (all three) and, believe it or not, the web, according to the site, "not quite sure" about them.  Neither am I.

Except for one.  Mike Ruffin, that great theologian, has a 100% Positive rating.  He must have paid somebody for his one result on Google.

So I put my name in.  The Intraweb is--wait for it--"not quite sure" about me.

Neither am I.

1 comment:

bella said...

I have never heard of that, but you better bet I'll be checking it out :)