One Day At A Time...

Six years ago this month, the wheels on my life came off.

Rewind to Christmastime 2004.  I remember telling my family that they'd all be better off if I was dead.  I sure thought I would, because I just wanted...relief.

Merry.  Christmas.  Y'all.

Then, in February 2005, all hell broke loose.  Without going into a lot of detail (because it's none of your business), let's just say that the same misery I'd been putting my loved ones through for what seemed to them--and me--forever, finally came down on me like fire from the mountain.

It's not that I hadn't lived the nightmare before, and shared it all--humiliation, separation, job loss, all of it--with my wife and kids.  Hey, when you're miserable, why not spread the wealth?

But this time was...different.  They'd had enough, and kicked me out.

My heart hurts even writing about it now, years later.  But I need to say what needs to be said.

Jennie...thanks for kicking me to the curb, and in the process saving my life.  You did the right thing.

John and Carder...thanks for supporting your Mama.  You knew she was doing what needed to be done, whatever the consequences.

Emily...thanks for telling me during the intervention, "Daddy, fight for me."  I've never forgotten that, and I never will.

Mama...thanks for taking me in (I slept on the floor of her house for almost six months on a mattress I brought with me). 

All of my family...thanks for showing me unconditional love.  Although you'd loved me that way all of my life, I could never receive it until everything was gone. 

And, finally, a song that says it all:


"One Day At A Time" - Joe Walsh
I was always the first to arrive at the party,
And the last to leave the scene of the crime
Well it started with a couple of beers,
And it went i dont know how many years,
Like a runaway train headed for the end of the line.

Well I finally got around to admit that I might have a problem.
But I thought it was just too damn big of a mountain to climb.
Well I got down on my knees and said 'Hey!'
'I just cant go on livin' this way!'
Guess I have to learn to live my life one day at a time.
Oh yeah! One day at a time!
Oh yeah! One day at a time!

Well I finally got around to admit that I was the problem.
When I used to put the blame on everybody's shoulders but mine.
All the friends I used to run with are gone,
Lord, I hadn't planned on livin' this long.
I have to learn to live my life one day at a time.

It was something it was too blind to see,
I got help from something greater than me...
And I have to learn to live my life one day at a time!

Anothuh Wacka Flocka Flame Story

Recently I wrote about, among other things, an Atlanta rapper by the name of Waka Flocka Flame and his, um, encounters with local law enforcement agencies.

In the words of that great philosopher Billy Mays, "But wait...there's more."

Seems now that said Flocka Flame's tour bus was shot at while having a stereo installed in Charlotte, North Carolina.

I have a question.  If you were going to buy a touring bus, wouldn't you buy one with a stereo already in it?

But, like Congress, I digress.

Apparently, and I quote, "random cars pulled up and began shooting."  Now, I'm not real smart, but I'd be more interested in the cars doing the shooting than by the shooting itself.

Flocka Flame and a couple of his entourage were detained after the fracas.  No word on whether Gucci Mane (pronounced "Goochie") was anywhere in the state.

Or whether Chief Noc-A-Homa was involved.

I just love writing stuff like this.  Can you tell?

The End of Another Era. Again.

David Nelson, the last remaining Nelson of the "Ozzie and Harriet" Nelsons, died this week.

I never knew what Ozzie did for a living.

I never knew what Harriet did around the house, other than say "Ozzie!".

I did know what "Little Ricky" did.  He sang.

"Poor Little Fool", "Travelin' Man", and, of course, "I'm Walkin'".

Yes indeed.

What did David do this entire time?  Smile for the camera.

I never knew what David did either, but he did get married.  And performed in what would become the longest-running sketch comedy series of all time.

Yes indeed.

And outlived his family.

Ozzie and Harriet represented what every American family wanted to be--stable, secure, good-looking kids, all of it, right down to the white picket fence (oh, wait, that was "Leave It To Beaver").

The good old days.  If only they were here again.

Yes indeed.

Snowmaggedon 2011 Update

The aftermath.  What a glorious thing.

The snow started sometime after midnight Sunday, and it lasted throughout the day Monday.  Thank God we had plenty of bread and milk.

Our little piece of heaven looked like this:

Between five and seven inches was what they said...all I know is that the snow was halfway up my leg.

The beauty of it all surpassed the inconvenience it caused...not being able to get to work (a tragedy) and having to haul in firewood (a burden).

That being said, it has been a gorgeous couple of days.

Snowmaggedon Is Upon Us. Again.

We had snow on Christmas Day here in the mountains, the first time in 139 years.

Here's a picture (taken Christmas Day afternoon) of the Price Building (the former US Mint) on the campus of North Georgia College and State University, THE Military College of Georgia:

I point out the sparse amount of snow on the ground at NGC only because the forecast over the next couple of days calls for between five and seven inches of snow in Dahlonega.

Panic has already set in.  Milk and bread are selling like the Tribulation has begun, but so are beer and wine.

People are hunkering down for the Great Winter Storm of 2011.  Only time will tell how many countless lives will be lost due to a lack of milk and bread.  Or beer and wine.

At our house, we're bringing wood in because there's sure to be a power outage due to lines freezing, then snapping, and pulling down utility poles on the top of bread and milk trucks.

Tragedy upon tragedy.  All because of some snow.

How do I know this is serious?  Because at noon today, Ken Cook of Channel 5 had his tie loosened and his sleeves rolled up, holding a half-empty glass of milk and a crusty slice of white bread.

I'll report in after the storm subsides.  Or when the supplies run out.

A Christmas Lesson

From Neal Boortz:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.  Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN:  'Hello'?

WOMAN:  'Honey, it's me...are you at the club?'

MAN:  'Yes'

WOMAN:  'I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.  It's only $1,000.  Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN:  'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN:  'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2011 models.  I saw one I really liked.'

MAN:  'How much?'

WOMAN:  '$98,000'.

MAN:  'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN:  'Great!  Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market.  They're asking $950,000'.

MAN:  'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000.  They'll probably take it.  If not, we can go the extra fifty thousand if it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN:  'OK. I'll see you later!  I love you so much!'

MAN:  'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up.  The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..

The wonderful husband turns and asks:

"Anybody know whose phone this is?"

I Am A Rambling Man

Just some random musings on a cold, rainy Saturday:

In Henry County, Georgia, this week, the home of local rappah Waka Flocka Flame was raided by authorities.  Flame was not home at the time, but anothah brothah rappah, Gucci Mane (pronounced Goochie Main) was home.  Flame tweeted "the folks just kick my door in good thing I left for court LOL".  No word on the eventual outcome of eithah rappah.  Or whether Daffy Duck will be suing for sound effects infringement.

WXIA, Channel 11 in Atlanta, has successfully launched the latest in weather forecasting, calling it the Wizometer (pronounced wiz-om-e-ter).  I choose to pronounce it WIZ-O-ME-TER.  So much more entertaining, and raises many more questions.  How much did "11 Alive" pay for the WIZ-O-ME-TER?  I'da come up with something just as entertaining for a lot less, I'm sure.  Come to think of it, I really do miss Guy Sharpe.

John Pruitt, over at WSB-TV, did his last newscast last night during the six o'clock hour.  The station had a tribute video for him which began at 6:48pm.  It was cut short at 6:55pm so the station could have five minutes of advertising.  Forty-six years in the business and shut out by a Viagra commercial.  That must have been hard to take. 

Just so you don't think I'm now the local arbiter of television taste, let's talk about Christmas.  The perfect storm occurred this week in North Georgia--rain/sleet/snow + idiot drivers + a full moon.  All that adds up to around 1,000 automobile accidents north of Atlanta in a matter of a few hours.  No word on whether Waka Locka Flame or Goochie Main were involved in any of these wrecks.  I just had to find a way to mention their names again.

What do car wrecks have to do with Christmas?

--A lot of those drivers totaled their vehicles. 

--They now need another car or truck. 

--I sell cars and trucks. 

--They need to buy from me. 

If they do, I'll have a Merry Christmas.