National Fritters Day (December 2)--my Grandma Berry made the best fried apple pies (fritters) in. The. World. You could put one of her fried pies on top of your head and your tongue would fly up and slap your brains out. I'm all over celebrating this one.
Wear Brown Shoes Day (December 4), followed by Put On Your Own Shoes Day (December 6). Is it just me or do these two need to swap days?
Saint Nicholas' Day (December 6)--for the patron saint of pawnbrokers (look it up). The fat man in the red coat has another day besides Christmas? What's up with that?
National Cotton Candy Day (December7)--known otherwise as "All Dentists' Eve".
National Brownie Day (December 8)--gooey chocolate with walnuts, please.
Take It In The Ear Day (December 8)--nobody knows much about this holiday. I think it was another Hallmark ploy, planned in advance of their singing greeting cards. I've received singing cards featuring Elvis, and Hoops and Yoyo. For the record, the puppets outscore the King in the audio card competition.
National Pastry Day (December 9)--I've had a cinnamon roll craving since I had surgery back in March. I want Cinnabon, hot from the oven and slathered in icing. The closest location to me is 34 miles away. Apparently I'll keep wanting.
Poinsettia Day (December 12)--a long time ago I heard poinsettias were poisonous. Then I found out the average person would have to eat between 500-700 poinsettia leaves to die. I also heard while we lived in Florida that oleander plants were poisonous. Then I found out that you'd have to smoke an entire tree to die. One resource says poinsettias should be classified as "toxic" and not "poison". Hmm...okay.
National Ice Cream Day (December 13)--notice how many of these days have to do with food? And not the kind that's "good for you", just the kind that's good. It's either got to be a Dairy Queen Heath Bar Blizzard or Moose Tracks. In large quantities. While not in order, let's get the rest of the "glutton days" out of the way:
- National Lemon Cupcake Day (December 15)
- National Chocolate Covered Anything Day (December 16)
- National Maple Syrup Day (December 17)
- Bake Cookies Day (December 18)
- National Roast Suckling Pig Day (December 18)
Forefathers' Day (December 21)--in case you don't know, this is the day that the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. After planting a cross and the flag of Great Britain in the sand they started an automobile company which went bankrupt twice and was rescued by the Indians. There were probably other Mayflower-type ships that tried to land at Plymouth Rock but couldn't find a parking place. We already have Thanksgiving. I'm not sure I could take a double-dose of Pilgrims within one month.
National Flashlight Day (December 21)--we're inviting everyone over for this holiday. Bring your own batteries.
Festivus Day (December 23)--I really like two things about this holiday. During the holiday meal "The Airing Of Grievances" allows you to go around and tell everyone at the table how much they've disappointed you in the last year. After you've eaten, "Feats Of Strength" pits someone at the table against the host. Festivus only ends if and when the host is pinned. Kind of like "Jon and Kate" meets "WWE".
Makes you long for New Year's Eve, doesn't it?